Good results!

Happily, the results of the CT scan and blood tests done on Friday were good, in fact the best since the big shock at the end of May. Dr Mafafo is delighted and only requires more testing in 3 months time. This means we can all relax and have a lovely Christmas and holiday. Phew!

I was rather relived that she decided not to examine me as my sorry harpooned bottom might have revealed my newer endeavours to tell those tumours who's boss!

I've been having these injections of Coley's fluid in increasing intensity on a daily basis. It throws my usually crazy life into further disarray, as I never know when I will be overcome by rigors and fever. Each day is a mystery. So far, I've only had mild flu symptoms and a headache, which is hard evidence of my carthorse-like constitution. I do need that fever to do the necessary with those tumours, so I need to embrace them rather than wish them away.

We'll see what tomorrow, Tuesday and Wednesday bring.

Our holiday plans, which have been on hold for ages, have finally fallen into place in the last two days, which is so exciting. We'll be spending the long weekend at Cathedral Peak, then four days at Finsbury over James' 21st with his Godfather, August, and his family. Home for Christmas, then the big drive down to St Francis Bay for just short of two weeks. luckily Nicola is able to join us for much of it and my mum too.

Much to look forward to, especially with Damacles at bay.

I hope your struggles are lessening over Christmas and that you can have a good rest.

Happy Christmas!

Good results!

Half full and a whole new challenge

Just when I thought it was time for a rest, a new challenge has presented itself.
That end of the year feeling...



I thought it was the chemo that had run me over, but I was relieved to receive a Garfield cartoon from a friend in fine health, which made me realise that the world is worn out by this time of the year, and that exhaustion was not only my domain.

The recovery period after round 8 has seemed endless and only the absolute promise of the Salvazione Christmas concert and the commitment to the Link Centre got me through those flat and fatigued days. Even the seemingly rock solid vitamin B injection failed me and the usual restoration of week three just didn't happen. All along, I was under the happy illusion that I had at least 6 weeks in hand to get fit, lose the extra cortisone induced kilos and recover, before further draconian measures would need to be undertaken and endured.

The challenge came in the form of a rare appointment with Dr Golding, a physician and anti-ageing specialist. He has recently become interested in treating cancer patients using his Solal products, which are homeopathic in nature, and other unusual practises.

I saw him on Friday, had my first injections immediately and will be treated almost daily for the next few weeks.

I'm having Iscador injections twice a week and will continue with the drops on the intervening days. He has also started me on Coley's injections on a daily basis with the doses increasing until the bacteria introduced induces rigors and a daily fever of 39 to 40C. The reaction to the bacteria stimulates the immune system, which produces quantities of white blood cells and simultaneously, the fever. This, in turn, causes my body to recognise the cancerous tumours as aliens and to reduce them in size. I fear that the process will be unpleasant and exhausting, but the theory makes sense.

So, daily trips to Bryanston (about 20km), hours of rigors and fevers and renewed hopes for a cure or a least extension of good living. And I thought I was worn out..

The good part of the paralled railway tracks

- Nicola sang in the best Christmas choral concert I've ever heard on Saturday. She has joined a choir conducted by Sue Cock called Inverse, which consists of about 16 young and highly talented musicians. She returns from practises on a high with her right brain zinging.

-James has delighted us with another set of outstanding results and is busy filling up the fun bank. He assures me that he has a bottomless spare tank.

-Ali has managed the protracted exam period with maturity

-The children of Salvazione put on a fabulous nativity concert, which had us all, alternately, roaring with laughter and weeping copiously. The choice of the King James version for the script made it even more charming, with our second and third language English pupils managing admirably and sweetly with all the thees and thous.

-the Link Centre at Salvazione School, under the auspices of the Shine Centre in Cape Town, was launched and 80 children were tested by 10 volunteers.

If you feel hot in the next couple of weeks, bear me in mind!

Prague, Berlin and the last round of chemo

Having ridden the high wave of Ali's confirmation weekend with Godmother Linda staying and Godparents Errol and Debbi and the family joining us for the special occasion, the spectre of passports and suitcases seemed a bridge too far. However, there's nothing like a vitamin b injection to raise the energy levels.

Nic and I had the most marvellous week together. Prague has to be the most beautiful city I've ever seen. We were both so well and walked so far every day.

We went on to Berlin, where we met up with her Godmother, my bridesmaid and lovely friend, Jenny. We had one funny night together in a cheerful, dormitory like set up and went out to the best department store I've ever seen, Ka De We, for supper.

Nic headed off at the crack of dawn on Thursday morning for Wolfberg where she had been in invited to attend the Social Business World Summit, following on from her experience at the Yunis Centre in Bangladesh earlier this year.

Jen and I had a wonderful, interesting and at times, gut wrenching day, exploring Berlin and absorbing some of the tragic history of it, which is so well documented. The day ended with a heart-soaring rendition of Beethoven's 5th Symphony at the magnificent Konsert Haus, surrounded by a highly sophisticated audience of beautifully turned out Berliners.

After Jenny left, I made my way to Wolfsburg, where I joined the summit for a few hours, and proudly observed Nic competently networking among the people from all over the world, with whom she has so much in common. I particularly enjoyed meeting the Bangladeshi delegation, who have played such an important and happy role for her. We even had a photo taken with the revered Prof Yunis, who remembered Nic and said her desk in Dakar was waiting for her!

We had one busy and effective sight seeing day in Berlin before heading back.

Nicola started her new job at the Standard Bank on Tuesday and I went into round 8 of chemo, both enriched and fortified by our shared and individual experiences. Who could wish for a more generous husband and father?

Day 3, round 8, drip 24 today. The effects have settled in very fast and I'm anticipating a low week or more. My veins have been damaged by the DTIC and it has been a battle this week to find functioning ones which allow the drip to flow. It seems that the benefits of doing another round after this are questionable, so with Dr Mafafo, I have decided not to go ahead with round 9, which is a huge relief. She is very pleased with my response and I'm now in the 10% of 6 month survivors of stage 4 metatastic melanoma patients. Further testing in a few weeks will determine where to next.

We had a good consultation with the sister who administers the experimental drug Ipiliminab, which we've been interested in, and it remains a valid and hopeful possiblity for the future.

For now, there is more living to do. Ali is writng exams, James has just finished his, Nic is settling at work, Tim is stretched to his limit at work and the big volunteer meeting for Salvazione school, under the auspices of the Shine Centre, is on for next week.

Scrabbling up side of rabbit hole

It takes energy, of which there is questionable amounts, to scrabble back out of this chemo rabbit hole. The perpetual dilemma is whether to push on and get the strength in the process or rest to allow the strength to come. Luckily there's not too much time for debating and several immediate tasks to fill the gap.

We headed out to Machadorp for half term after the last drip on Thursday. I was filled with trepidation about weathering the side effects away from home and with friends, who would be exposed to me at my worst. What luck to have such fabulous friends; they not only put up with me, but cheered us all up immeasurably, while simultaneously catering royally. It was an excellent weekend and it was marvellous to see Tim heading off for huge hikes and returning with a huge grin, refreshed by the peace, solitude and physical challenge. Nic and Ali read more than I've seen them read in years.

Now to gather the warm coats and strength for the Berlin and Prague adventure with Nic.

Split result

The CT scan on Friday was a harrowing experience, exacerbated by the poor souls who have to administer the test and act as if the results are fine. Luckily, James was here for the weekend and a marvellous source of positive energy for us all.

Dr Mafafo is happy with the results, which, as before, reveal that some tumors have shrunk, some stayed the same and one nasty one on my left lung has grown. What is important is that overall, there is not a deterioration, which means that I'm in the 20% of people who respond to this kind of chemo.My reward, hmm.. 3 more rounds.

Day 1 today. We know the routine, but it's still tough.Tim is my rock as always,( so much so that I've put his name forward to Shar for her unborn boy, as that tiny boy will be lucky to have the qualities I associate with the name). We were surrounded by difficult cases, a 19 year old girl, a 17 year old Downes syndrome boy and 32 year old young man. It's virtually impossible to distance oneself and the level of anxiety pervading the air is high. The chalky, puffy look and known nasty side effects are descending fast.

As always, thank God, there is lots of positive family news. Nic has formally signed an employment contract to be a Business Manager to a Director in the Department of Inclusive Banking. She starts on 9 October. She has been invited to a conference following her experience in Social Business in Bangladesh in Berlin, so, I'm going with her! We leave on Sunday 31.10 and are popping into Prague for two days, one night together at the conference at Wolfsberg, so I can meet her friends from Bangladesh. Then, I go back to Berlin to meet up with my dear friend, Jenny, who is flying in from Dublin for 24 hours of catching up, sight seeing and capuccinos. We're hoping Francesca Bashall will join us from the UK for the weekend. So much excitement.

James, having bolstered us all up and enjoyed just being at home, headed back in Cape Town in fine fettle and ready to await "the fear", which will anchor him firmly to his desk until the end of exams. He has several appealing plans for the post exam period and he needs to choose a venue for his 21st, which we will celebrate in early February. The MG is the source of delight we had in mind!

Ali was awarded an Academic certificate at the St John's Prize Giving, a splendid occasion at the glorious City Hall. Lewis Pugh was the eloquent, riveting and inspiring speaker. He has done a lovely painting in Impressionist style, inspired by a photo from our trip in Venice last year. He exudes happiness when painting. It is his Confirmation next Saturday and we'll have a weekend of celebration, with Godmother Linda making a special trip up from CT and Godparents Errol and Debbi supporting him. The course has been inspiring.

Still waters and swift recovery

Sometimes one's moment comes to lie by the still waters. Plainly, it was hard for me to recognise that it is my turn and also, it seems obvious that such lying should not be accompanied by persistent nausea and that myriad of other nasty sensations associated with chemo. I recovered so much faster from round 6 as a result of accepting the need to do absolutely nothing, (which rankles strongly with the heavily inbuilt Protesant Work Ethic), and also from scheduling in the peculiar coma-like sleeps, from which I emerge much restored.

By Thursday, I was up to a meeting at Salvazione school about the Shine Centre system of managing volunteer energy in schools to its best advantage. It is an obvious fit and the positive energy and enthusiasm was astounding. Plainly, one of us needed to get to Cape Town to see a functioning Shine Centre so that we could move ahead with Joburg immediacy.

I booked a flight on Sunday morning and was on my way at 2.15. What a thrill to be fully engaged with a project of such significance. Leigh-Anne was my competent and delightful guide and companion for Monday and Tuesday. I saw two fully functioning centres and attended a formal seminar about setting up a centre. It was a privilege to be among people of such integrity and competence. Their standards are uncompromisingly high, their system is professional and their commitment to education absolute. I am hoping to be a conduit that brings this Shine Centre model to bolster promary education in Joburg.I know this work is healing.

Tests will reveal whether I go ahead with round 7 of chemo next week or not. Happily on top form. My mum says she is astounded to see me looking better than I have in years!