Molly the Mini

Here she is!

What a thrill, my first ever brand new car.

Licensed to have fun. What a spoiled girl and a big vote of confidence in a big, busy future. Tim is 

endlessly generous.

We had a hectic 5 days at The Wild Coast sun at the KPMG Africa conference. Each day was packed to capacity with meetings and functions and opportunities to meet extraordinary people from all over the world. There's never a boring day where KPMG is concerned.

James has finished his gruelling GDA year at last. I'm sure it has been worse for the supporting team than him. He spent 5 days last week on the Orange River with 65 of the other GDA survivors. 

He flies back to Cape Town tomorrow, then head off on a month long road trip across South Africa with 4 friends on Friday. This is exactly what he needs.

The Link@HA Jack opened 4 weeks ago, after almost a year of hard, committed work by the Centre Manager, Nicky Elphick, Nicky Franklin and their band of remarkable women. They have a fabulous, enormous room and 80 signed up volunteers.  This is our 4th centre in Joburg and we have another 2 which will open some time next year. 

We have formed an exciting relationship with the Sunday Times, who have an initiative called `N'alibali, which means it starts with a story. They deliver their supplement to our centers every week and each child that we work with goes home with a book. One beautiful child, Belange, (beautiful angel) was thrilled to tell me that she now has 3 books. Laugh or cry?

 Nic has been in Glasgow on business.

Ali has had a wild week writing 4 monster exams. He has taken it in his stride. 2 more to go, then almost 3 months van. He's off to Bali with a bunch of mates for 3 weeks.

Two years post first prognosis

Snow in Joburg!

While life roars on at unabated, I do have the occasional nudge to remind me that I live with cancer. The latest CT scan shows that some tumors have disappeared. The one I was happy to see the back of had been in my left lung. However, two badly positioned ones have grown, but not enough to alarm the oncologist. My plan is to continue with the Dendritic Cell Vaccines and the huge drips of vitamin c for now and keep living as I do, fully, with great joy and delight.

Life as arranged by Tim, has continued in its perfect way. We went to England for the wonderful family wedding of Francesca and Matthew.  Afterwards, we went up to Scotland to see the lochs and Edinburgh.

There are, of course, magnificent photos of the wedding, but my new Mac has me foxed, so I promise I'll add them when I can harness the energy of anyone under 25 to help me (at last James has come to my aid!).

Tim and I had a long weekend at Thendele in Natal at the end of July. It is a beautiful place of happy memories and we walked far and felt relaxed and restored.

I dashed down to Cape Town for 2 days in the middle of August to see James, meet Maurita from Shine and to attend the Wetpups Matric Reunion. It was amazing to see the matric boys, many of whom I had taught in grade 3 and then again in Grade 7. Some had matured beyond recognition, but most were lovely big versions of their small selves. I felt a huge, warm connection to them and was so interested to hear all their news. It was a wonderful opportunity to catch up with my colleagues and to be reminded of those teaching years, which were such happy and fulfilling (while fully manic) ones.

James and Ali had a weeks vac in the beginning of September, so we gapped it for 5 days to the Vic Falls and to a lovely place, Imbabala, on the banks of the Zambezi in Zimbabwe. We saw Africa at its best, driving in lovely old Landys and bobbing down the river fishing for tiger fish. Seeing Tim completely relaxed in his homeland, Zimbabwe, was the best part altogether.

Last week, Tim and I headed off again for the week on what Ali called "adorable", a road trip on our own! We had 3 nights at Giant's Castle, which is absolutely exquisite. We hiked 12km the first day and 18km the next. I was happily surprised by the strength in my legs. We had one night at the Wild Coast Sun, where Tim had preparation work to do for the Africa Partner's conference, which takes place next month. Then we had one lovely, happy night with the Cox' in Durban and one at Three Tree near Spionkop Dam.

We had the soul searingly sad news that Dean Butchart had died while we were away. I met the Butcharts through friends and they were down in Joburg from Zimbabwe this whole year, while Dean was treated for lymphoma. He was only 17. I have had the privilege of getting to know them well and felt a kindred spirit in Dean as he endured round after round of chemo, radiation and surgery. His suffering made me realize how lucky I have been and how little I have suffered. On one of the occasions when I went to pray with him, I told him how sure I was that God had power enough to heal us both. The anguish and shock of that family is indescribable and while hope helped them to be the best family and to support Dean completely, we are all gutted by his death, as we felt so sure he would survive.

Living fully involves having the strength to embrace the terrible lows of life along with the highs and they do present simultaneously, which can be confusing. I know about survivor guilt and I don't have it, but I was very grateful to Hilary, our priest, when in her sermon at Dean's funeral, she gave us permission to ask why.

Celebration some pics

A challenge

It has taken me a while to process the latest test results. The average diameter of the tumours has grown by 3%. While all 4 doctors agree that this is not a significant number in cancer medicine, I am strongly aware that the tide has turned and that the euphoria of the 30% and subsequent 7% shrinkage of the last two tests has not continued. I had been lulled into a false sense of security, assuming that the shrinkage would continue. It is impossible to live my daily life in that dark place, where the reality of Stage 4 Terminal Metastatic Melanoma Cancer dominates.It is too heavy a burden to carry, so, happily, it's business as usual and it seems that we are all much better than 'half full'. After some consultations and much thought, I decided that it would be senseless to react only when there was a bigger deterioration. So, I have had another Dendritic Vaccine treatment and will continue with that route of treatment every 6 weeks for a while. Gathering the 20 tubes of blood is a bit of a circus with risks of a blood clot, but it is worth taking. Dr van Rooyen, who is the mastermind of the vaccine is the only doctor I've consulted who offers a cure and a 20% one at that. Being in the minute statistic of survivors so far, this is an encouraging number. The vaccine makes absolute sense to me and there are no side effects as the vaccine consists of my own cells and saline. In the interim, there's no stopping us and our crazy lives continue unabated. Megan Maynard and I had 4 stimulating and thrilling days at the Franchhoek Literary Festival.

We attended 11 forum discussions, which had our heads spinning and left us with too little time to discuss all we had heard. While the speakers were all authors, many of the discussions were around the state of the nation and played to Megan's and my passion for Education. I was entranced by Prof Jansen and heartened by the sense of energy and unity among people willing to do a lot to resolve the crisis.

The weather was perfect and Franchhoek was exquisitely beautiful. We stayed in a tiny slave cottage, which had 2 minute bedrooms with views over the vines, which were in full autumn splendour. The bucket list gets continually longer with experiences so wonderful that they must be repeated, this among them. I was back in Cape Town to see James and his band of merry UCT men play a rousing game of hockey. What a delight to see him in his element.

My association with The Shine Centre is developing daily and it is a great source of healing and delight. have a look at the website of The Shine Centre and you'll be able to see a video clip of what we do.This term has seen the opening of 2 new literacy centres, one at Riversands Primary School beyond Four Ways and one at Yeoville Community School. The centre managers are of the best kind of people and their commitment and high standards are thrilling and inspiring. It was an honour to be the tour guide for Maurita Glynn, Founder and director of Shine, when she came up to see the fruits of her labour.

A fourth centre will open at HA Jack school in September. We meet termly and there is a great sense of community of purpose. This a a model that works and it is a privilege to be part of this fast growing movement towards better education for the disadvantaged in South Africa. With the help of Tim, Tania and Craig Steven-Jennings and Kerry Fynn, The Link Trust has been opened with a view to raising funds for opening new literacy centres on the Shine model and also funding broader educational programs. It has happened very fast and jetted this initiative to a whole new and exciting level. Nicola was home from London for 10 days in the beginning of June. James flew up and the 4 of us had 2 perfect days at Nottens, a private game reserve in the Sabi Sands area. Poor Ali was left at home to study for his Physics exam. The bush was absolutely beautiful and we were so happy to be wrapped up in blankets, absorbing the scents and spirit of Africa. We are all abundantly aware of how lucky we are.

I spent 2 days with James in the flat in Cape Town last week, being his chief study facilitator. He writes huge exams next week and needed to be fed and to have his fridge and cupboard filled, so that all his energy can go into studying.This GDA year is a tough one.Below is the view from the flat. Not a bad study environment.

Happily, my life runs from one high to the next. On Saturday, Ali and I fly out to England for Francesca Bashall's wedding. We've been looking forward to this since Easter last year. It is going to be a very special family occasion. Tim and James will join us next Friday, in time for Tim to don his morning suit and make a speech to toast the bride. What a thrill!

Survival

Having lost 8kg, and the pallor of chemo at last, I am able to recognise myself in the mirror for the first time in almost 2 years. It has been a slow dawning of the fact that I'm a cancer survivor. This realisation is causing me much delight. There are documented phases for dealing with death and I've been through them, but there seems no obvious route to survival, except the sheer delight of continually seeing and doing things that I thought were not to be available to me. Of course, much of the delight in life and the ability to seize it with such vigour is because I'm so astoundingly supported and indulged by Tim, in every way. On Tuesday, Tim bought me a ticket to join him on a business trip to London! It was Anna Bashall's 21st on Saturday and Nicola was running the London Marathon on Sunday. Two very good reasons to get to London. We flew out on Wednesday night. On Thursday, I had breakfast with my dear cousin, Alice Bennett at Covent Garden and then saw Billy Elliot with her in the afternoon. We had a lovely reunion supper with Nic at Blackfriars. Friday brought the opportunity to see Fional LeRoy and Sandy Bernstein and we saw the ballet La Fille Mal Guardee. It was a visual sensation and the term 'world class' fully defined. Lunch was a treat in the staff canteen at the Royal Ballet, where you are surrounded by artists. Sandy and I shopped happily along Oxford Street in the afternoon. Tim and I were delighted to meet Nic's new house mates at her digs in Battersea. It was important to have a context in which to visualise her and also to know that she lives with warm, lovely people, who make her London life wonderful. We had a lovely supper, just the three of us with months of catching up to do. Saturday saw us heading off to the London Marathon expo to register Nic and get her SA vest printed with her name. What huge hype and a massive event, which was organised to perfection. We then caught the train to Colchester, where we suprised the Martin Bashalls and confounded their seating arrangements for the 21st dinner. It was a very special family occasion and we were delighted to be there among Mackies, Bremners,Frankie, Greens and Bashalls. Hugo had put together an excellent presentation, which displayed, so competently and humourously, Anna's great sense of humour, her strength, beauty and brilliance. Sunday was consumed by the London Marathon. Nic did 5h 14m and we chased all around London, with the help and company of Alice and William Bennett. We managed to see her 3 times and were astounded each time to see her full of energy and absolutely bouyed along by the overwhelming support. There were 35 000 runners and a million supporters. It was London at its best; a beautiful sunny day, incredible logistics and great humour abounding. Most runners had their names on their vest, so were supported in a personal manner. What a spectacle! I have to confess to being in a high state of emotion, with tears streaming a lot of the time. Rousing stuff. If this is survival, I'm all for it

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More good news

I'm sure that holidays are better healers than any medicine.

I returned to Joburg and ordinary life after no less than seven weeks of holiday, feeling better than I have since before I started chemo 18 months ago.

Tim's long leave took us to the Maldives, Cape Town, Durban, Thula Thula (for that huge birthday), then to London. Tim, James and Ali had a week of skiing with Geoff, Tim's cousin, in France and I popped off to Dublin for a couple of days and had a merry time in England. Then, Tim and James returned home and Ali and I stayed on in London for yet another week. What absolute luck. This is living in the present and life in abundance.

My latest CT scan showed that the tumours had shrunk by a further 7%. This is particularly good news as the cancer tends to become nasty again after about 4 months. The trend is definitely in the right direction and I have another 3 months of happy living in hand.

The literacy program, that I'm so delighted with, is expanding at a rate. There are 3 new Link Centres opening in Johannesburg soon. I will attend training in Cape Town in March, which will allow our pilot Link Centre at Salvazione School in Brixton to be fully accredited. This will further our credibility with the Department of Education. Shine, our umbrella organisation, is the only NGO in SA that is allowed to interact with the children during teaching hours. The teaching makes my heart sing and I'm so enjoying the interaction with the people who are opening their own new centres. There is an extraordinary number of competent people who are willing to give their all to make a difference in the world.

Nicola is embracing life in London in her inimitable fashion. She has signed up for the London Marathon, works all hours and meets friends for coffee in the intervening minutes. She says she's been waiting her whole life for this. She is lucky to have our big, warm extended family there.

James is fully at the grindstone at UCT, doing his Graduate Diploma in Accounting. It's serious now.

Ali has had his first week of Medicine at Wits and loved every minute. What a blessing, he seems to be in the perfect place.

Tim is much restored after long leave. His treadmill seems to get faster and faster and he mainly loves the work he does.

I am so at peace and delighting at all the good fortune in my life. It has been an ongoing wonder to be present at so many of the occasions I thought I would miss. Not many are as delighted to be 50 as I!